"Me First!": From Sibling Competition to Collaboration

A few phrases I hear on the regular include: “Get me out first!”, “No, I’m sitting next to mommy!”, “Read MY book first!”

On the surface, it seems so silly for the kids to be arguing over who is going to get unbuckled from their car seat first or who gets to sit on my left side on the couch. It can be challenging to be patient in these moments. But when I dig deeper (which I tend to do when lying in bed at night), I can usually get to the root of all of these seemingly petty arguments. Once I understand the cause, I can better handle both the situation and my own response.

The common thread among these “me first” arguments is a yearning for my attention. It is HARD to share a person that you love. It’s understandable that they both want to feel that they are the most important and each very loved by me. This is more true than ever as we get ready to welcome a new baby. While I know with certainty that I could not love one child more than the other, that is a trickier concept for young children to understand. Attention = love in their minds, and they are keenly aware of the balance or imbalance of that attention each moment of each day.

While there are still plenty of “me first” arguments, I’ve found a few strategies that seem to help. Some of the strategies I’m sharing are preventative and can be implemented anytime. Other strategies are ones I use in the moment, when the arguing and competition is high.

1:1 Time

The best way to fill each child’s cup and make them feel uniquely loved is through 1:1 time with either me or my husband. While this can be a special outing together (such as going to the children’s theater as pictured below!), I find just as much benefit from small moments each day. This might be preparing a meal or playing a board game together while the other sibling is busy playing or reading a favorite story while the other is napping or already in bed. These short but sweet one-on-one times each day boost their confidence in our relationship, and let them know they are special to us.

The goal isn’t “equal”

One of the best ways to nurture the sibling friendship and reduce the rivalry is to not try to make everything fair or equal for them. Siblings are related but they are each very unique. Just as they prefer different breakfasts, they have different needs from me. While S craves lots of physical contact, D wants time to play board games and work alongside one another. I don’t have to give them the same thing to make each feel better. I simply have to meet each one where they are at.

Predictable Routines

The more we stick to a (semi) predictable routine, the more the kids thrive, especially together. The biggest meltdowns and sibling arguments happen when they are surprised and unsure of what’s coming. A good example of this is when I “surprise” them with a special treat. I get excited to share it with them and then before I know it, it’s all about who got the bigger piece and not at all about the joy of a treat. This is in contrast to our weekly predictable trip to the bakery or their favorite park, where they know what they will get and the same arguments don’t occur. Of course life is full of surprises, as it should be, but it’s helpful to keep in mind that surprises can lead to bigger feelings and fights, and to be emotionally prepared for it!

Let the Kids Solve it

Now that the kids are both preschool age (almost 3 and 5), I find I can help them move from competition to collaboration by letting them come up with solutions. For example, if they are arguing about who gets to feed the dog, I will say something like “You both really want to feed Kula, and she’s lucky to have two family members who want to help take care of her! How do you think you can both take care of Kula and still make sure she gets her dinner tonight?” In the past, the kids (often D) have suggested that one gets the food and one gets the water for Kula. They also decided to take turns feeding Kula at dinnertime and they keep track of whose turn it is each evening far better than I do. While I’ll admit letting them come to a solution on their own does not always work, it is such great practice for them to brainstorm and come up with solutions together.

Work as a Team

If we notice they are starting to argue often, we try to put the kids on the same team instead. This means coming up with activities where they are working towards a common goal. Rather than ask them to race each other to get ready, I might ask if they can work together to clean up all the little pieces before the song ends or if they can get in their car seats before I pack up the trunk. I often include myself in the team and help them out, modeling that we all work as a team. I even say “let’s work as a team to _____” which helps them think about our family or each other as a team. My husband is especially good at inventing big movement games where they try to beat a clock or even him instead of each other. I also really like cooperative board games for this reason - they are trying to win together.

Moving from competition to collaboration is as constant and challenging a practice for us adults as it is for kids. The less value we put on being first, the less the kids focus on being first. Simply being aware of this, combined with a sense of compassion and understanding for how difficult sharing a loved one is, can make the biggest difference of all.

Books to Prep Siblings for a New Baby

As my belly keeps growing, so have the questions about baby. With only two months to go, the kids (2 and 4) are beginning to recognize that a shift is happening, and are understandably both curious and a little nervous. We have been reading quite a few books, both about pregnancy and having a new sibling, to give them both knowledge and comfort. Many of these have come from our library, but I’ve also purchased a few favorites.

Pregnancy

Mama’s Belly - This is my personal favorite. The words and pictures are lovely but also realistic. A little girl asks question after question about the baby growing in her mama’s belly. She feels excited to help and worried about sharing her special things. Sometimes her mama gets grumpy and tired, and loses a lap to read in. Yet they still share special moments and over time, she feels assured that her mother will have more than enough room in her heart for them both.

Nine Months - This is a really beautiful picture book for preschoolers (and older) who want to know more about the month-by-month development of the baby in utero. The pictures are detailed and accurate. The words are sing-songy and simple, but offer little hints at what the baby can do at each phase. Once D found out that our baby could hear her, she has been singing to him often.

Hello in There - This is a favorite interactive, lift-the-flap book for the kids, though the illustrations are more whimsical than realistic. The story is told from the perspective of an excited big sister-to-be, as she asks the baby what it’s like in mommy’s belly and offers reassurance and tales of all the fun they will have soon. “We’re all waiting for you - come out and play!”

Where do Babies Come From? - This is the simplest book I have found on the topic of “how did baby get in your belly?”, and provides just enough information about pregnancy for young children. I like that it’s already in a question and answer format, making it relatable for preschoolers who are full of questions! If you’re looking for a more in-depth explanation of where babies come from for older kids, check out It’s Not the Stork.

A New Baby

Lola Reads to Leo - We are big fans of all the Lola books, and this is no exception. This book is great for toddlers and preschoolers alike. In this story, big sister Lola finds lots of ways to help, especially by picking out her favorite books for each moment and reading to him. Though this doesn’t cover any of the real tricky moments of being a big sibling, it’s sweet and offers realistic ways a small big sibling can feel helpful.

My New Baby - This is one of four board books in a series, with simple and short text making it great for toddlers. In this book, a little big sibling comments on and asks lots of questions about the baby, such as “Is the baby still asleep?” and “Why does baby always have milk?” It captures a toddler’s point of view well, while offering little hints about what it might be like to have a baby sibling at home.

I’m a Big Sister Now / I’m a Big Brother Now - This is a new favorite for us, and is especiallly great for the preschool ages. In each version of this book, the new big sibling helps prepare for the baby’s arrival, greet the baby once home, and finds ways to play with the baby as it grows. I appreciate that this book does mention some of the tough stuff: waiting, being told to be quiet, and stinky diapers. Despite having a “big job”, being a big sibling is still pretty good after all.

Big Brother Time / Big Sister Time - More than the other books, this one really captures the challenges of being a big sibling. My kids enjoy the humor that comes with this one as the big sibling learns they get to teach baby the “rules”. Rules include not sleeping with their big-kid blankie, no building pillow forts at bedtime even if they’re cozy, and being on the same team when friends come over. As the big sibling makes the rules, they realize that there is more good than bad that comes with a new little sibling.

I’m Big Now - The new big sister in this story isn’t sure she wants to be “big” so she decides to try being a “big girl baby”. She tries on her old baby clothes and squeezing in her old crib. But she soon realizes she much prefers crunchy cereal to mushy food, the potty to wet diapers, and running freely to being strapped in a stroller. As she reassures her baby sibling that they too will be “big someday too”, her parents reassure her that she will always be special to them. The rhyming verses make this extra sweet to read.

Just Right Family - This has been a good read as we discuss the different ways families come to be. This story is about a little girl whose parents are about to adopt another baby. She loves hearing the story of how they became a family and isn’t sure she’s ready to let someone new in. But once she meets her new baby sister, she feels pride in telling her little sister the same story of how their family became complete.

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Easing the Transition to Big Sister

I’ve talked a bit already about our transition from one to two, and overall it’s been a fairly easy adjustment (we are lucky, I know!). That being said, it hasn’t been completely smooth sailing, and it’s a constantly evolving relationship between D and S. We have had plenty of tough moments, big feelings, and even moments of D acting out towards the baby. As with all things parenting, it has gotten easier in some ways and harder in others. Easier in that D has fully embraced being a big sister and nothing feels “new” anymore. Harder in that S is becoming a bit more mobile, and D more assertive and possessive over what is hers.

Through these ups and downs, these are a few ways we’ve perhaps made the transition to becoming a big sister a bit easier for our toddler:

The Helper Role - This one came easily to D, who like most toddlers, likes to feel that she is a contributing member of our family. Giving D the opportunity to help prepare his environment, change him, offer him a bottle, or comfort him, have been really valuable for her. She shows such pride when she makes him laugh, or when she successfully buckles him into his car seat. Lately she especially likes to “read” to him or show him her work. He is more than happy to be her pupil! ;) This has also been a great tool for me, to keep everyone happy and busy.

Consistency in Routines - Routines are huge for toddlers; they thrive on “sameness”. and predictability. D is especially sensitive to consistency. Obviously a baby is a huge disruption to routine, but the newness wears off quickly. We have kept a lot of D’s daily rhythm the same. She still gets to serve herself snack, she still gets her favorite 3 songs before bed, she still does bathtime with Daddy. Of course, we’ve also added some new routines, such as reading books with her brother before bed, helping put away and pick out S’ outfits, and getting to drink special “tea” (often warm milk with cinnamon) while I nurse S in the afternoon. These routines give her a sense of control and calm.

One-on-One Time - Since having S, we’ve made sure to carve out special one-on-one time for D with each of us. She and I often get a little alone time each afternoon when her brother is napping, which is a fun time to bake or cook dinner together. On the weekends, D and my husband will go to the pool or to the park just the two of them. We trade off doing bedtime, so she gets that special time with each of us too. Last weekend I took her out for a play without the boys and it was really sweet for both of us to have that special outing together. Though family time altogether is valuable, I think we especially appreciate each other when we have that one-on-one time too.

Fair Treatment - This doesn’t mean treating the two of them completely equal. That’s impossible, as they are different children with different needs. Rather, I try to make sure we treat them fairly. For example, I ask S to wait when I’m focused on something with D, just as much as I ask D to wait when I’m nursing S. I don’t want D to always feel like S comes first, or that his needs trump hers. As he gets older, I also have to ask him to let go of her belongings and work just as I ask her to give toys back to him. Neither of them have to “share” but they need to learn to respect each other’s work and take turns when appropriate. Though fairness isn’t always possible, it’s been useful to start this practice, so everyone feels respected.

Difficult Moments

Although it’s rare, there are moments when D is frustrated or overtired and she gets physical towards her brother. If she does, I immediately stop the behavior. I say something like “I can’t let you hit your brother. It’s my job to keep both of you safe.” I then check on her brother first, and point out how he’s feeling (“S looks sad. I’m going to see if he’s okay.”) I talk through this out loud even if he’s clearly fine to model checking on him when he is hurt.

Once I’ve checked on him and made sure he’s okay, I direct my attention to D. I acknowledge her feelings (e.g. “I can see you felt frustrated when your brother grabbed your toy. You wanted it back. I can’t let you hurt his body though. If you feel frustrated, you can use your words or come to me for help.” I try to give her different ways to express her frustration while being clear that hitting or getting physical towards her brother is never okay. I then offer her comfort if she wants it. Lastly, I ask if she wants to check on Baby S too, and she usually does. She usually offers him a hug, and all is right in the world again. And I remind myself what a difference a good sleep can be for her, and for everyone.

Our Daily Rhythm with a Toddler and a Baby

Last winter, I posted D’s daily routine in this blog post. Obviously our lives have changed quite a bit, and we have some new routines, while others remained the same. Montessori influences all aspects of our day: from self-serve breakfast to independent playtime to walks in the forest together. I try to set up a “rhythm” without any rigid schedules or agendas. Though D goes to school a few mornings a week, we don’t go to other formal classes (except swim class on the weekend). I like to leave space and time for the kids to just play, for D to not feel rushed, and for time with family and friends. No day looks exactly the same, and weekends are more spontaneous, but as I write this blog post, there are clear patterns to our “typical” day.

Throughout our daily rhythm, you’ll see a lot of free play time. In Montessori, we often call this a work cycle. For D, this means a variety of things. Sometimes it’s independently working at her shelf with her materials. Other times it’s playing pretend with her dolls and stuffed animals. Free play time also includes art, sensory, and practical life. Not all of her time is spent playing independently; sometimes we’re at her shelf together doing lessons or she just wants me to sit with her. She and I also like to play games like hide & seek and do yoga together. And of course, she always loves to bring her little brother toys and “play” with him! We try to incorporate all types of play into the day, which honestly just happens naturally. During her work cycle, she gets to take the lead and choose what interests her. You can read more about how we encourage independent play in this blog post.

A note about Baby S: Now that he is four months old, he’s fallen into a fairly consistent rhythm. Rather than exact times, I use wake windows (he’s usually awake for 90-120 minutes before he’s ready for sleep again), so take these times with a grain of salt. Some days he takes three naps; other days, four. He also typically nurses both before and after sleeps, which works out to about every 1.5 to 2 hours (As he’s had some reflux, he nurses at just one side at a time; otherwise, I’d probably lengthen that to 2-3 hours.) He has been putting himself to sleep since he found his thumb and fingers around 3 months. Over the next few months, his wake windows will lengthen, his sleep will consolidate more, and he will hopefully start sleeping through the night, but this is our rhythm for now. You can read more about how and where he sleeps in this blog post!

D’s Schedule (27 Months)

7:00 to 7:30am - Rise and Shine - My husband typically gets D up and helps her get ready for the day before he leaves for work.

7:30 to 8:30am - Breakfast - I let D serve her own breakfast (e.g. oatmeal with toppings or avocado toast) and we read or play a little together. Then she goes potty and gets on her coat and shoes before we leave the house.

8:30 to 11:30am - School/Out and About - We are usually out of the house. A few days a week D has school (where she is given a 2-hr work cycle), and other days we go to the park, run errands, or have a playdate with friends.

11:30 to 1pm - Lunch - Back at home, we eat lunch together. Then she has a little independent play time while I get S down, or she “helps” me. We often read quite a few books together before her naptime, while she sits on the potty.

1 to 2:30pm - Rest - D goes down for a nap or has quiet time in her room if she doesn’t sleep. She plays with her dolls, books, animals, and a few quiet toys.

2:30 to 5pm - Work Cycle - This is typically a time when she works freely with her materials at her shelf, both with and without me. We also try to get out for a short toddler-led walk.

5 to 6pm - Dinner - She helps prep dinner in her kitchen helper. Then she eats her dinner at the family table (I sit with her and eat a little pre-dinner snack too.)

6 to 7pm - Wind Down - We read books or play together until bedtime begins. She also helps me clean up her toys around the house. We start bedtime around 6pm if she hasn’t napped.

7pm - Goodnight - If she’s napped, it’s bedtime with her Daddy when he gets home. Bedtime consists of using the toilet, bath, brushing teeth (we do it first, then give her a turn), changing, books, songs, and a kiss goodnight.

S’ Schedule (4 Months)

6:30 to 7am - Rise and Shine - S wakes up and nurses.

7 to 8:30am - Free Movement - We get ready for the day, he has movement and play time on his play mat, and we head out of the house most days.

8:30 to 10am - Nap 1 - He takes a nap in the carrier since we are usually out.

10 to 12pm - Together Time - We cuddle and have some playtime together or he’s alert and looking around if we’re outside. He usually also has some story/song time with me and his sister before his second nap..

12 to 2pm - Nap 2 - He takes a nap at home on his floor bed in his nursery.

2 to 4pm - Free Movement - S has movement time on his play mat. We also spend some time playing with his toys together, and his sister likes to sing to him or bring him toys as well.

4 - 5pm - Nap 3 - He takes his last nap of the day, usually on his floor bed.

5 to 7pm - Together Time - At this time, S often accompanies me and his sister through dinner prep and her dinner. He plays on his mat, but if he’s fussy, I wear him in the carrier for a bit. The three of us also read quite a few books together.

7pm - Goodnight - We start his bedtime routine and he goes to sleep in his bassinet in our room. His bedtime routine consists of: bath, change, nursing, books, sleep sack, songs, and a kiss goodnight.

9:30 to 10pm - Dreamfeed - I nurse him while he’s mostly asleep (to get a longer stretch when I’m sleeping) and he goes right back to sleep in his bassinet.

He typically nurses once around 3 or 4am, and then goes back to sleep in his bassinet until morning.

As for my routine, I try to wake up before the kids, around 6am so I can get myself ready first, and make breakfast before D comes downstairs. I am often able to catch up on emails and messages in the early morning too. Most of my work/blogging/material making/shelf rotation happens during nap or in the later evening though. Since D likes to help me with some of the house chores, and enjoys her independent play, I’m able to get things like dishes and laundry done while she’s awake. As my husband doesn’t usually get home in time for dinner with D, we typically enjoy our own relaxing dinner (I meal prep with D in afternoon) after we put the kids to bed. It’s a nice time for us to catch up on the day. On weekends we eat as a family. A couple evenings a week, I go to a workout class, which is hard to make myself do but I’m always glad I went!

Well, that’s the rhythm of my typical day with two babes! And don’t worry, we have our hard days with no rhythm whatsoever too. Sometimes I just have to let it all go, and try for a better day tomorrow. :) What do your daily rhythms look like?

Transitioning from One to Two with the Help of Monti Kids

When people ask me, “How is it going with two now?” or “Do you like the 2-year age gap?”, I find it hard to know what to say. How do I explain that I’m completely drained but simultaneously happier than ever before? And that while I feel like my head might explode at times, my heart is exploding more. So I just smile and nod and let them wait and hopefully see for themselves. :)

Activity Gym and Grasping Toys from Monti Kids Level 1

One of the most rewarding things about having two is watching them together. It’s incredible to see their bond develop already. How lucky for each of them to have a sibling aka built-in-best friend for life? D has been so sweet in helping with diaper changes, giving him a bottle, singing when he’s fussy, and giving him toys. On the flip side, he seems to think she is just about the best entertainment in existence.

Bead Stringing from Monti Kids Level 6 and Activity Gym from Monti Kids Level 1

There have been some challenges, of course. The mom guilt sets in and I feel like I’m not able to give them each my full attention. There are times they each have to wait, while I’m helping the other, and my toddler especially isn’t happy about it. On the flip side, D is learning a bit more about patience! Additionally, getting both out of the house is no small feat. I’ve just accepted that I will always be late unless I seriously plan ahead. Even when we spend the entire day at home, I’ve had to let go of my expectations that I’ll get all my “to-dos” checked off. Lastly, finding time to shop for or create new materials for the kids has been much more challenging than with one.

That’s where Monti Kids has been a game changer.

Time and Energy Saver

For me, this is the best part of Monti Kids. While I enjoy browsing, shopping for, and putting together Montessori materials, these days I often just don’t have the time. With Monti Kids, a beautiful set of Montessori toys are delivered in one big box, with each beautiful material ready to place on our shelf. I get as excited as D when a new box arrives. Even the trays are included when needed! For the newborn, I love that there’s no need to put hooks in our ceiling or DIY the mobiles - the activity gym is tall enough for visual mobiles and all the mobiles arrive completely ready to hang. SO convenient.

Gobbi Mobile and Grasping Toy from Monti Kids Level 1

No Guesswork

In addition to its convenience, Monti Kids takes away the guesswork of finding the “right” toys. While studying developmental psychology in graduate school, I learned just how critical the first three years of life are. The brain goes through more change and growth in these years than any other time. Providing babies and toddlers with toys and materials that challenge and excite them leads to more confident, curious, and capable people and instills a love of learning. It gives me such peace of mind knowing that Monti Kids makes sure each material is of the highest quality and caters to my children’s developmental needs and abilities.

Cutting Board, Hat, and Apron from Monti Kids Level 7

Individual Play Spaces

While I hope that one day my children will be best friends and play together, neither of them fully grasps the concept of sharing yet. So while they do enjoy being together (or at least D loves showering S with kisses), it’s also beneficial for them each to have their own spaces. We have a small play area for each of them in our living room. On one side of the room, we have D’s shelf with her Montessori materials, books, and work mat/table. On the other side, We have S’ toys, activity gym, and movement mat.. At different developmental stages, Monti Kids has helped us to create a prepared environment that meets each of their needs.

Grasping Toys from Monti Kids Level 1

Allows me some “me time”

With a toddler and a newborn, there’s not a lot of time for self-care. Even my showers feel rushed these days. And though I love my time with both of my littles, sometimes I want a break from someone physically on me. ;) In large part thanks to the Monti Kids activity gym and toys, there are moments in the day where both of the babes are busy (or one is asleep!) and I can have a seat and drink my cup of coffee while I observe them play. It’s a beautiful thing! Additionally, they are both benefiting by building their concentration though independent play.

Ring Slider from Monti Kids Level 7

From today through August 31st, you can get $45 off your first Monti Kids box with the code reallife45. Enjoy!

This post is sponsored by Monti Kids and materials have been provided by Monti Kids. All opinions and thoughts on the materials are my own.

Octahedron Mobile from Monti Kids Level 1

Becoming a Big Sister

The big day is fast approaching…8 more weeks until the due date! D was very punctual, arriving right on her due date, so we’ll see about this little guy. This pregnancy has had its own set of challenges, but it is going by so much more quickly than the first! Toddlers keep you busy! Though we’ve been mentally preparing for months, we are just now starting to prepare our home (and all those new-baby logistics) a bit more.

A big difference in our preparation for this baby is that we have another family member to consider. D has had the privilege of being the first and only for almost two years, and this is going to be a huge adjustment for her. Though I am confident she will love our new baby, I expect there to be lots of bumps along the way. While we can’t predict exactly how she will respond to such a big change, we can help prepare her for what’s to come, and help get her more comfortable with the idea of a tiny baby brother around.

Here are a few of the ways we are helping D prepare for her upcoming role as big sister:

Caring for Baby - Though I introduced baby dolls around 15 months, she really only became interested in her dolls around 18 months. This was when she began to insist on sleeping with one (now two), pretending to feed them, and changing their clothes. It was at this point we set up a little baby care basket, which you can read about in this blog post (along with a couple of other baby activities). More recently, D’s favorite thing to do is wear or push her baby doll around the house. She is especially in love with this Boba doll carrier, which allows her to multitask (just like mama will be doing very soon!) Giving her these opportunities is fun for her, and good practice too. I can definitely see us both wearing our babies around the park in a few months!

Baby Washing - Her other favorite baby care activity is baby washing. We just started this activity (21 months), as it requires quite a few steps. After I set up the supplies, we start by filling this water ladle. For now, I fill it partway at the sink, and she carries it and pours the water into the water basin. We usually do two or three rounds of this. Then she dampens one of the baby cloths, pours the liquid baby soap on the cloth (or in the water usually), and washes the baby doll’s face and body. She likes to name all the body parts as she goes. Then I hand her the other small cloth to wipe baby’s face dry. We then lay out a small towel and she puts baby on it. I help her wrap up baby and she likes to snuggle her baby doll in the towel.

Baby Photos - D’s favorite book in our house is her baby book. While I’m happy for her to look through this with me, it is not a book I want to leave her to play with. So I printed a few pictures of her in her first few months, and laminated them for her to look through. Seeing these photos of herself will hopefully help prepare her for what her little brother will look like when he is born! (Though red hair twice would be crazy!) It also helps to get the conversation going about newborns in general: what they are like and what they need.

Books - There are many books out there on this very topic, but here is our small selection. I didn’t want to purchase too many, as that gets repetitive, and I didn’t want to overwhelm D with the idea. You Were the First is hardcover, but a wonderful book to read together at bedtime. It is such a sweet story of experiencing all the firsts with your firstborn, and I think it will be extra sweet to read once D is a little older too. Two of these books (Waiting for Baby and My New Baby) are part of a new baby series. I like the questions the toddler asks about the baby or baby-to-be along the way. It’s great for starting conversation about pregnancy and the new baby. Lastly, I’m a Big Sister is a classic short story about the important and fun role big sisters have with a new baby, which is also helpful for us!

Environment - Since D already has her own room, and a floor bed, we haven’t had to make adjustments to her room for a new baby. Instead, we just make sure her room is a place she enjoys being and sleeping, so that she always has that space for herself (no sharing necessary). Hopefully it will help her feel “big” and special to continue to this room to play in, read in, pick out her clothes and dress (see that post here), and sleep with her favorite “lovies”. Though we only keep a few “toys” in her room at once, we keep lots of books, and her favorite place to read and snuggle is in her play tent. I am looking forward to continuing many bedtime snuggles with her here when our little baby is sleeping.

Though we have yet to set up the baby’s room (it’s currently our guest room and we would like to paint it and make some changes first…), we are working on setting up a small area of our bedroom for baby. That is where the little guy will sleep for the first 5-6 months. I’ve been involving D in filling the baby’s drawers with tiny clothes and hats, and showing her where baby will sleep, where I will nurse him, and where we change his diapers. My hope is that this will help her feel aware of and included in some of the changes about to take place. I’m sure she will enjoy picking out his outfits when the time comes!

One-on-One Time - I have been soaking up these last few months of all the special solo time D and I have. Though I know we will carve out time for just us two, it is bittersweet to know that it will be more than just us most of the day, and I worry how this will affect her the most. Because of this, we’ve been making sure she has special solo time with her Dada each week too. Each Saturday morning they spend a couple of hours just them, and I’ve found that after their little adventures, she’s all about Dada the rest of the day. It’s so important for them to have that time together, and my hope is that their bond will be even stronger when he’s on paternity leave and our newborn is at his neediest. Once the baby is here, solo time with each of us will be extra important!

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